Open your eyes
by Selece's Child
Summary: Fiction about Clemi...again!
1. Chapter 1: Clef

**Disclaimer:** MKR and its amazing characters belong to CLAMP.

**Notes: **This is a small fic about Umi and Clef. I will split it in 4 parts: two from Clef's POV and two from Umi's in an alternating way.

Now here you are the first part, it's from Clef's POV. Enjoy!

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You. Among all the people in Cephiro. It's incredible. You're so venomous, so sharp, so unpleasant, so terribly snobby.

And yet, you're so beautiful! Your long silky hair, your wide, wild, expressive, blue eyes, your slender, perfect frame, your cold, cured, tapered hands…oh, I could go on 'till forever.

What are you? You look splendid, like an angel, but you've got on me the same effect of a demon.

I'd do everything for you. I swear. But you, oh you look at me like I am the most unpleasant thing in the whole Cephiro.

Oh, you'll drive me mad, Magic Knight! You are always ready to give orders, expecting for the others to obey, you're the one who takes all the decisions and the others do always follow you. How can you do that? How can you enchant everything and everyone around you? I can't understand.

You say you won't go home, but yet you won't stay here forever. Are you playing with us?

Are you playing With me?

Well, if you are, I can assure you that you're winning your damn game.

I cannot understand you. You give me loving stares, while you thrown at me poisonous words.

Why?

I'm getting lost.

Have I a chance to understand you?

What am I to you? The short, annoying Clef? The boring and strict Guru of Cephiro? The man you love to tease in this terrible way? What am I supposed to mean to you?

I see the way you act towards the others: always so sweet, so caring, so worrying, so joyful, so smiling…

But when it turns to me you get silent, sharp. You never smiled to me. Well, maybe a pair of times to thank me when I give you my sleeping potions, late at night.

Oh Umi, why? Why are you doing this to me?

I admit it, sometimes I still treat you as a child, but can't you see right through me? I'm dying for you.

My world enlighten when you cross the door of my study.

I admit it, in my 745 years, I've never been in love, but then you came, you rushed inside my heart and you changed everything.

Oh, you awake in me feelings that cannot be described with mere words, feeling that I never experimented in my long life.

Where should I start from? Maybe from my speeded breath, or by the skipping beats of my heart, or maybe from the fact that I can't take my eyes off of you, that the world fades away replaced by your deep eyes.

And what about the efforts I make for not holding you tight close to me? To not kiss your lips?

Oh, your lips…I imagine them soft and warm while pressed against mine and playing with them, I imagine how sweet is your taste, how right it could feel having you in my arms and tell you what I feel.

I'm the Master Mage, Umi, how am I supposed to feel all this for you? I should be devoted only to Cephiro, this wonderful place I love so much. But every inch of it reminds me of you: when I stroll near the seaside I see your eyes in the ocean, when I turn to look at the waterfall I see your hair, even the soft, gentle breeze reminds me your voice. Oh Umi, what a fool you made of me! You've got me in your palm, my heart in your hands.

That's not normal for me, I am the Master Mage, I'm not allowed to love. But when I see you standing in front of me, I become numb. I don't even care of being the Master Mage. I just want to be yours.

But what about you, Umi? Oh, I feel your eyes lingering on me while I'm around, but when I turn to meet your gaze, I can't decipher it.

What's that shadow in your eyes?

Is it love? Is it mere affection? Or maybe just curiosity?

Is it disappointment? Is it bother? Or maybe it's hate?

Hate. Oh please, Umi, everything but this. I don't think I could handle it, I'd do everything to make you change your mind. I could never stand the idea that you could hate me while I'm such a fool over you. I couldn't handle being away from you, Umi.

Umi, damn it, see me!

Open your mesmerizing eyes, those deep pool of blue I got enchanted by, and see right through me!

Can't you see it?

I love you. Totally, unconditionally.

Ask me whatever you want me to do and I'll do it. I'll do it for you.

For us.

Us. Yes, Umi, us. You and me. Just the two of us. It would be perfect.

I dream of it night and day. Your eyes haunt my dreams, your angelic face torture me.

I want you. Only you.

And you're making me fool. Miserable. Frustrated.

I love you, Umi. Please, see me. I'm begging you!

I'd give all that I have to get your attentions. Even just a smile, it would be enough to make my stomach flutter. At least I'd know you feel something for me, that I mean something to you.

I love you, Umi. I love you with my whole heart. I shouldn't even think it, but I don't care.

I could even yell it in front of all the people of Cephiro if it will make you mine.

But I don't know what you feel for me. And it scares me.

And now look at me, I'm forced to watch you fencing with Lantis in front of my blinded-by-your-beauty eyes. I see all the passion you fight with, I'd love to be in Lantis's place, to challenge you.

But I would never be able to beat you. Not that I can't fence, on the contrary I'm quite good at it, in the end I was Lantis's teacher, but I wouldn't be able to attack you, I'd be afraid to hurt you. And you'd win, and you'd tease me for my weakness.

Oh Umi, I wonder what you'd think if I tell you that my only weakness is you.

Would you still tease me for it? Would you still look at me with despising amusement in your eyes?

I know you'd look at me in that way if you'd beat me. And I can't let it happen, I love you too much for giving you such a ridiculous impression.

Oh Umi, can't you see it? Me, the Master Mage, is begging for your attentions. Is begging for you.

How humbling! Yeah, it's true when they say that love turn people crazy.

Oh Umi, I'd do everything just to take your hand in mine.

I want you. And I'll get you, some day. You can be sure of it. You mean too much to me for letting you slip out of my fingers as sand does.

I love you.


	2. Chapter 2: Umi

**Disclaimer:** MKR and its amazing characters belong to CLAMP.

**Notes: **Well, I wanted to wait some time before bublishing it, but since it's V-day I thought it would be nice to post the new chapter.

This is for all my amazing, great, faithful reviewers. Guys, you're the best!

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You! So annoying, so cold, so I-know-it-all!

Oh, you are all that I ever hated in a man collected in a small, childish body.

Oh, but you're even so tempting! Your icy eyes do always challenge me , your lavender hair make me want to caress them, your hands…

Oh, your hands! They're small, childish, yet beautiful. I imagine them warm to the touch.

Your touch. Oh, you can't even imagine how badly I do long for it…I can imagine your hands wandering on me, caressing my back, playing with my hair, your fingers entwined with mine.

Oh Clef! Damn you! You've made me fall for you!

I can't even explain the feeling I get when you pierce me with those icy, cold, deep pool of blue.

I wish I could see through you, I wish I could read your mind.

I see how you do act towards Hikaru and Fuu: you're always so encouraging, so caring, so patient.

But when it comes to me it's a whole different story: I never heard a sweet word from you, nor an encouraging one. You're always there to criticize me.

Why Clef? In the end I'm your best student, I've always been.

But make me feel nothing more than a little, uncaring brat.

That makes me frustrated.

What am I to you? The annoying Umi Ryuuzaki? The selfish little girl you can barely stand? The spoiled brat you love to pour your derision and despise on? What am I, in the name of Selece?! What? Maybe I'm just The Magic Knight of Water.

Oh no! Please, Clef, everything but this! I won't be an item. I won't be someone you need just in order to defend your beloved Cephiro. I want to be more. Much more. I want to be someone you need to survive like you need air to breathe.

Oh Clef! Do you really think I come to you every night because I need your potions? What a fool! I come to you because I need _you_! I love coming to you because on those occasions you give me your smiles.

Yeah, you never smile to me, but the rare times you do it I got enchanted.

Your bright, warm smile dazzles me.

How can I explain how I feel? My legs suddenly become weak, my body shakes, my heart speeds up, everything that's not you suddenly fades away replaced by your smile, your eyes, your handsome face.

I'm blinded by you. It takes only a smile to make me melt like wax in your hands. Every time I see your lips curving in a smile, Cephiro becomes Heaven.

Oh, your lips! They're so thin, yet so tempting…I wish I could take them with mine. Yeah, I'd love to kiss you, to show off my feelings with a deep, fiery kiss.

I know you are the Master Mage, you aren't allowed to have any relationship, but I'm dying for you, Clef!

I'd do everything to be with you, to hold you tight, to feel your body close to mine, to have all your love and affection. I could even accept to become your secret lover, I'd hide the truth to Hikaru and Fuu. I'd lie to them, to my sisters. And I'd do such a terrible thing for you, Clef.

Oh Clef! How miserable and frustrated you are making me!

Me, Umi Ryuuzaki, is a fool over a 745 years old Mage! How humbling!

Oh, but I can't help it, I dream of you every night. And when I wake up in the morning and find I'm alone in my huge, empty, cold bed I feel like I could die. I even started to bite my nails for you!

Clef, oh Clef, I beg you, open your enchanting, blue eyes and look at me! How is it possible you don't understand me?! I want you. I need you. Need you so bad that it hurt inside.

I still can't believe it, this feeling is something I never experimented before. It's the strongest I've ever felt.

It's like something is burning inside me, and this fire is killing me. I can't stand being away from you, I need you close to me. I urge you. I'll go mad if I don't make you mine. I must to do it!

Clef, damn it, I love you! It doesn't take 745 years of life to notice it! I long for you, I want to be yours.

What have I to do to make you understand? Can't you see my loving and longing stares?

Oh Clef, I should hate you for what you are doing to me, but I'm unable to do it, you mean the world to me.

Oh, how I wish I could attack you instead of Lantis! I'm sure you're a good swordsman too, you can do everything. But you'd never win against me, because I'd throw against you all of my rage, of my frustration and all of my passion. My feelings would blow you away like a blast of wind does with a yellow leaf during the autumn.

But not! It's just Lantis I'm facing, while you stay there in the corner studying me with your deep, piercing eyes. They make me shiver. I can't decipher your gaze. Oh Clef, you're killing me and you can't even notice it! What should I do for making you want me? For making you love me? For making you need me like do need you? Have I chance with you? Please, give me a sign because I'm lost!

Oh, I can't help forgetting of my duel and fixing my eyes on yours. Here again: I'm shivering, my legs are trembling, my heart is speeding up, I feel butterflies in my stomach.

Ah! How stupid am I! I was so busy to admire you that I didn't notice Lantis's sword coming next towards me.

I see the blood spilling out of my arm, Lantis's sword is still stuck in it. I can feel the blood running down my arm. It's warm. Oh I can even sense its smell, so strong and metallic. I can't stand it after all our battles in Cephiro, we saw too many people pouring their blood out for this country.

I look at Lantis, he's unable to move, he's terrified, he didn't meant to hurt me, it was a light move, I could easily block it but I was captured by your eyes, Clef.

I want you now, Clef. Help me, do something. Give me a sign of your concern, please, I need it.

I lose the hold on my sword, I can hear it hitting the floor with a metallic sound. It seems so far.

I look at my wound again, there's too much blood that it's making me sick. I won't to see it. Nor I want to feel its smell. It's giving me nausea.

For Pillar's sake Clef, don't stay there, petrified, do something! I'm starting to get cold now. Clef please, come here, can't you see I need you now? Can't you see I love you?

"Oh Clef…"


	3. Chapter 3: Clef: Listen to your heart

**Disclaimer:** MKR and its amazing characters belong to CLAMP (though I admit that I'd like very much to own Clef…but oh well…lol)

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"Oh Clef…"

It was just a whisper. Did I really heard her calling for me? She never does it. I swallow and look at her pale face, her horrified eyes. She hates blood, she can't stand its sight after all that happened here, after they killed Emeraude. Her sword falls on the ground, a metallic noise echoes in the vast, dark room.

Her eyes slip closed, she collapses on the floor.

There's nothing to get worried for, I know it. I can easily cure a wound like that. But seeing her in those conditions makes me sick.

Oh Umi, forgive me if I didn't rush to you, I couldn't. I'm still petrified.

I look at Lantis, he shakes his head

"I didn't mean to…" I raise my hand, I won't hear his apologies, he hasn't to apologize to me, but to her.

"Take her in her room" I simply say. How cold I must seem! I just looked at him removing the sword form her flesh and taking her up in his arms. Then they exited the room. I wish that I could be Lantis, that I can take her in my arms like that.

_You Idiot_! A voice inside my head curses me

_How could you watch her with those icy eyes?! Haven't you heard her? Haven't you seen the way she was needing you? Her eyes were shouting it!_

I'm getting mad, I do even hear voices inside my head.

I sigh, she can't love me, she can't need me. I'm just Guru Clef to her. Her annoying teacher. I slide against the wall 'till I'm sitting on the floor, I blankly stare at her blood in front of me, Lantis's sword lying there still stained.

_You should go to her_. I know. But Lantis can cure her as well, she won't see me.

_Old idiot! Haven't you heard her? What the hell are you waiting for?!_

"oh, shut up!" I yell aloud.

"Guru Clef?" Hikaru's voice makes me turn

"are you ok?" she asks with concern in her voice

"yes…" I answer

"what's wrong?" I ask her

"well, you know it. Umi is hurt, a deep wound. Lantis called Fuu to heal it but…"

"her healing wind will work. It's nothing serious" I cut her out. I won't be sharp, but can't help doing it.

She sighs and sits next to me

"Guru Clef, I'm sure Fuu can take care of her but…don't you think she prefers being cured by you?" I bitterly laugh, then I turn to her shaking my head. She can't understand.

Hikaru stares hopefully at me with her ruby eyes.

_Go to her, do something! Damn you Guru Clef, stop following your brain!_

I smile to myself, I never followed my feelings, I've always been too rational to do these kinds of things.

"Hikaru, she can't stand me, she doesn't need me when she isn't fine, she needs you, Fuu, Ascot…" I find surprisely hard to pronunce that last name

"…I mean, her friends" I add, the Fire Knight sighs, then she stands up

"I don't understand you two, Guru Clef. Is it so difficult open up your eyes and put away your pride? Even Lantis was able to do it…"

"Hikaru what do you…"

"never mind Guru Clef, you two are too stubborn and too busy to look strong to understand. But believe me, we can read you like two books. It's crystal clear. And in this way you don't look strong, just fool" she says exiting the room, giving a quick stare to Lantis's sword.

_Are you happy now? If you had a chance, you burned it. Good job Master Mage!_

I don't know what to do, Umi. I'm so concerned over you. You can't even imagine how I am feeling right now. I'm the worse man in the world.

I guess that this time I will be the one to apologize to you. And I really hope you will forgive me, Umi.

I can't even think of you hating me. It hurts too much

_If it really hurts you stand up and go upstairs to her then! How is it possible? You are 745 years old and you act more childish than Ferio and Ascot!_

It's true, I can't deny it. I'm a coward. I can't find the strength or the courage to tell her how I really do feel.

What if she rejects me? I couldn't handle it. It would be too much. I feel sick if I think to her amused eyes looking at me with despise.

Oh Umi, why can't you be more soft? More sweet?

_Because you love her for what she is. And you know that deep inside her she's the best woman you've ever known. The real problem is you, my dear. You always say that despite your childish form you are the wisest man in Cephiro. Good, prove it once for all. It's your moment, Master Mage_

Fantastic, even my conscience is smarter than me.

When things come to this, there's just one thing for me to do: go in my study and read my books.

Does it seem stupid? Well, maybe. But the only thing that helps me to not think is my work. I love it.

_More than Umi?_

"Oh, give it a rest!" I say aloud.

Oh Umi, I wonder what she'd think of me if she'd hear me talking to myself. I won't even imagine it!

I slowly walk to my study, passing in front of Umi's door.

Should I step in and ask how she is? I hear people talking inside her room, probably Hikaru, Fuu and the others are there…

I approach the door

_Finally you decided to do the right thing, eh Master Mage?_

I roll my eyes, should I really follow the advices of a stupid, annoying voice inside my head?

_Yes, you should._

I sigh placing a fist on her blue and gold door, but I don't knock it. My pride tells me that nothing good would come out from such a fool act…

_Are you idiot or what?! Step in! She wants to see you! She called for you! Damn you, Master Mage, go to her!_

No. She won't. Maybe I'll ask of her later to her friends, now my bibliotheca waits for me.

_She waits for you too…_

"Yeah, sure" I sarcastically whisper.

I told you, Umi, you're making me crazy, now I do even hear voices inside my head…

In a few I'm in my study, I sit to my desk and look outside the window. The sun is shining bright, its reflection on the sea makes it twinkle. The sea. Umi.

_Oh give it a rest, you're dying for her. Admit it._

Well, it's right, I can't deny it, but she will never feel the same. I see how close she's to Ascot, no surprise about it: he's sweet, young, smart. And I'm….I'm the old Guru Clef. Just this.

I look at the gold title of the page I left unread to assist to Umi's fence training

"_**THE MAGIC KNIGHT OF WATER AND SELECE" **_

Fantastic! Even my books do retort against me! I shut it and throw it away.

I'm surprised of myself, I always had great respect for my books, but that was too much.

Umi, see what you have made of me: you drained away all of my patient, and everyone knows I'm a very patient man.

I wonder how you feel, I know that your wound is nothing serious, that you passed out just becouse of the blood, but yet I'm feeling horrible for not being there with the others.

You know, it's almost amusing: you, the strongest among the three Magic Knights, get so upset to faint just because of the sight and the smell of the blood.

_Oh, c'mon Clef you have just to…_

"not again!" I say taking another book and starting to read it, though I'm quite distracted by the other one I launched on the floor.

* * *

After some hours, the door of my study opens

"I'm working" I lie without even looking at the person who stepped in.

I'm not working, I'm thinking of you, Umi. I think it's the 30th time I read the same line without even caring of its meaning. I sigh and look up as I hear heavy footsteps approaching my desk, I gasp at the sight of her standing in front of me, a terribly angry look on her face.

This time it isn't too hard to decipher her gaze: she's furious.

"I see you're fine" I say trying to maintain my composure

"yes, but surely not thank to you!" she yells slamming a fist on my desk.

I swallow, she's right. And I feel terribly sorry for it.

Umi, you can't even imagine how I wanted to be there, but I couldn't. I can't stand being so close to you without having you. It hurts too much. I wish I could tell you but I can't. I'm afraid of your rejection, that's why I keep teasing myself with the Master Mage thing.

"well, I think that the important thing is that you are ok, it doesn't matter who cured you" cold, I answer.

I see her eyes widening

"what?! How can you say this?! I got hurt because of you! It's all your fault my dear Master Mage!" she yelled.

What the hell is she saying? My fault? Why in the world?

_It's not too difficult Master Mage…think to what Hikaru said!_

No, it can't be true, Hikaru is an incorrigible romantic girl, she sees the world in pink, that's the explanation.

"My fault?" I ask, I can hear my voice trembling. I must stay calm

"yes, you distracted me!" she exclaimed, a light shade of pink on her cheek.

Was she blushing? No, the Water Knight doesn't even know how to spell the word "embarrass".

_Are you sure? _

"That's not the right time" I hiss to the voice inside my head

"what?" she asks.

Great, he even noticed I talk alone. Thank you stupid damn voice.

"Umi, let me tell you something" I say icy, passing over her answer

"you are a Magic Knight, you must stay focused on your enemy, you can't get so easily distracted from the people around you. You've got a great responsibility on your shoulders, so don't blame on me the fact that you are just a girl easily distracting and in a daze. Try to be more responsible the next time"

I see her eyes becoming icy, I go back to my book.

Oh Umi, forgive me, you can't even imagine how terribly I am feeling right now.

The only thing I wish is to tell you that I'm an idiot, that I love you but I'm too proud and childish to admit it. It's terrible that you'll never know how much you mean to me.

I'll look like a monster to you now.

Ouch! Her cold hand hits my check. Has she just slapped my face?! I can't believe it!

_No? well, what did you expected, a sweet, warm hug?_

I'm the Master Mage! She can't slap me like that! I slowly take one of my hands to my cheek, it's hot, I guess she left there the mark of her five, slender fingers.

"You are an idiot Clef!" she yelled

_What a news!_

"didn't you heard me? I woke up in my bed seeing Fuu's eyes, while the only person I wanted to see beside me was you!" she added running out of my study and slamming the door behind her.

_Good job, Master Mage!_

I just slammed a fist on my table.

I'm an idiot

_Yes you are_

She won't see me never again after all this mess

_Well, she has a good reason_

"what side are you on?!"

_By the right one, and this time, old Clef, you are totally wrong._

I know.

I must talk to her…if she will ever hear to what I have to say…

_She will…she loves you_.

Maybe she loved me…now I won't be so sure.

_You'll never know if you don't try…_

I rest my back against the seat.

What an idiot am I!

_I thought we had already got it, what do you think of going to her now?_

I numbly stand up of my chair and walk out of my study. In w few I'm in front how her room

"Umi…"

"Go away!" her crying voice yells at me. My heart crashes

_What did you expected, that she'd welcome you with arms wide open?_

Oh Umi, are you crying? Please, stop it, it makes me hurt. I'm sorry I wasn't there, I couldn't imagine that you needed me that way. I always thought that you could barely stand me.

Why couldn't you tell me earlier what you do feel?

"Umi, please open this door"

"I won't see you, I won't hear your voice! I just want for you to vanish, get out of my sight!"

What am I supposed to do now?

_You are a Mage, Clef, doors are last of your problems._

Well, whatever that damn voice inside my head is, this time it's right.

I snap my fingers and I appear inside her bedroom.

Silently I approach her bed, she doesn't notice I'm here, not yet.

Oh Umi, seeing you in this state is even worse than seeing you with Lantis's sword stuck in your arm.

I love you terribly, can't you see it? I'd do everything to make you happy. Everything.

I softly sit on her bed and brush my hands trough her hair, she petrifies, then slowly turns to me.

"Umi…" that's all I can say though there's so much to tell her.

She slaps my hand away

"Go away" she hisses,

_Don't even try to move, Master Mage! _

I shake my head. No Umi, this time I have no intention to let it go, I'm here now, you're here. There's just us.

I rise my hand to cup her tar strained cheek, but she stops it.

Umi please, I know I hurt you but can't you see I never meant to do it?! I'm dying, it makes me feel terrible thinking that I made you suffer for such a long time. Put away your pride for once, I already did it coming here to see you, why can't you do the same?

"don't touch me!" she yells.

I'm sorry Umi, but I have no intention to let you go. I will fix this mess. I swear.

I fold her in my arms.

Oh, it was exactly like I imagined it, it's perfect. The feeling is wonderful, the best I've ever felt in my whole life.

She pulls away from me, I see her hand coming towards me again.

It won't work again, Umi.

I grab her wrists avoiding the slap, I feel her body shaking, she swallows.

"Umi, forgive me. I'm an idiot I…"

_Kiss her, you idiot! Can't you see she wants you?! Damn it, you're so old and yet so wimp!_

I lean in and lightly brush my lips against hers. I feel her tensing, so I pull away.

She sets her wrists free and looks at me with watered eyes.

Oh no! Umi Please, don't cry again! You'll kill me if you do.

A tear runs down her cheek, then she launches herself in my arms, hiding her face in my robe, sobbing.

I caress her long, blue hair

"was it so hard to do, Clef?"

"yes" I truthfully answer, she looks up at me, rising her head and showing her still watered gorgeous blue eyes.

"why Clef?! Couldn't you see it? I was dying for you, I needed you! But you were always so distant, never once I heard a kind word from you, never a smile, never good act…it was killing me…it hurt more than Lantis's sword…"

Oh Umi, why couldn't you tell me all this earlier?!

"I…I thought I bothered you. That you couldn't stand me. Umi, you've never acted like you do with the others towards me, how the hell could I think that you loved me? You can't even imagine how terribly I felt for not being there for you, I thought you won't me. That I was just the annoying Guru of Cephiro I…"

"Clef, you are an idiot!" she exclaimed.

_See, she agrees too…_

Ah ah ah…very funny. Can you stop now?

_Ok…I think that my job is finally over…_

"yes, so get out of my head" I don't realize I spoke aloud until I meet her curious gaze

"Clef?"

"never mind, Umi…" she would think I'm out of my mind.

She smiles to me.

Ah, that smile, I've always hoped to see it on her lips, it makes me the happier man in the world.

"Umi, I've to tell you something…"

"what?"

"I love you"

I don't care that the Master Mage has to be alone, you're here now, in my arms. That's all that really matters to me. Her lips curves in a smile once again.

Her lips, oh, they're as soft as I imagined!

I can't help leaning in and kissing her again.

She snakes her slender arms around my neck and kisses me back, it feels so wonderfully right.

Oh no, why are you pulling away?! What are you doing?!

She cups my cheek and giggles

"you know, I've always wished to hear those words from you…and I'll tell you more: I love you too…"

Umi, You can't even imagine how my heart is speeding up, how I am feeling dazzle right now.

I hold her again, playing with her hair.

Oh Umi, finally you're mine. Finally there's us. You and me. Only the two of us.

"promise me we'll be together forever" a whisper.

Oh Umi, of course we'll be!

"I promise"

She giggles, I let go out a content sigh.

It's wonderful having you here in my arms, Umi, I told you that I love you, well, I lied. The feeling I have for you is more. Much more. It can't be described with words.

But I'll show you, someway. Day by day I'll make you understand that you mean the world to me, that I couldn't be without you.

I need you to survive like I need air to breathe.


	4. Chapter 4: Umi: Set aside your pride

**Disclaimer:** MKR and its amazing characters belong to CLAMP (though I admit that I'd like very much to own Clef…but oh well…lol)

**Notes:** Here's the last chapter...thank you again for having read this whole thing, I hope you liked it. Well, thanks again to my rewievers, you're great guys! thank you! ^^

* * *

Clef. Tell me it's yours the warm hand that's holding mine. Please. I need you. I want you here, right beside me.

I feel the warm spreading in to my whole body, my arm doesn't hurt anymore.

I open my eyes, I'm sure you're here with me.

But when I look up my heart sinks. They aren't your eyes, they're wide and green, hidden behind a pair of glasses. Fuu. I sigh

"My wind worked" she's proud of what she have just done. Well, I'd be proud too if I'd just cured my best friend.

"yeah…thank you Fuu" I can hear delusion in my voice

"something wrong, Umi-chan?" I shake my head, I won't let them know, though I suspect that Hikaru already knows something.

"Umi, I'm sorry I…"

"It's ok Lantis, I just got distracted, that's not your fault" I smile to him, he has not guilt in what happened. The only guilty is you, Clef.

Oh, damn you, Master Mage! I wanted so badly to find you here with me!

Haven't you heard I called for you? I almost pleaded you! You are an idiot! I hate you!

Oh, who I want to tease? I don't hate you, I could never do it…you are everything that matters to me.

But seems like I don't mean that much to you.

"I tried to convince him to come, but he won't…" Hikaru breaths in my ear

"huh? I don't know what you're talking about" I answer, she shakes her head.

I knew it, she already knows.

And I knew it, he doesn't care of me. But I want to see him, I want to talk to him.

I want to make him know that he's killing me, that he can't go on treating me like that.

I love him.

I look at everyone going out of my room, Ascot places a soft kiss on my forehead.

Ascot, how sweet are you…I wonder what's wrong with me.

How can I love that terrible Master Mage instead of you? The nice guy who's always there for me? Forgive me, Ascot.

I don't know if going to him or let it go.

Clef. You can't even imagine how you hurt me. I love you and you don't even imagine it.

Even if you don't return my feelings you could at least act in a nicest way towards me.

Oh Clef, what have I got to do to make you see how much I do love you?

I have to see you. I need to see you.

Slowly, I make my way to his study. I sigh looking at the golden, tall door.

How could he do this to me? His best student! The person who loves him the most in this country!

I'm so angry with you, Clef!

I burst in without even knocking

"I'm working"

You're working?! You are working?! Are you idiot or what?! You didn't even took the disturb to see who has just got in to your damn study!

Oh, you're driving me mad, Clef! How in the world can I love you in a so desperate way?! I'm an idiot!

Oh, I have no intention to go out! Not without having make you feel a worm!

I approach his desk, finally he looks up

"I see you're fine"

That's all you've got to say?! Do you really think I'm fine?! I'm not fine! I'm hurting Clef, hurting like never in my whole life! Hurting because of a wound you opened and only you can heal. But you don't care, right? You care just of this damn books around you! I wish I could yell all this at you, but my pride, my composure make me stop.

"yes, but surely not thank to you!" I bark. What a good liar am I!

"well, I think that the important thing is that you are ok, it doesn't matter who cured you"

How the hell can you be so cold?! Can't you see right through my façade?! I wanted you! I needed you! And I still need, but you don't care!

"what?! How can you say this?! I got hurt because of you! It's all your fault my dear Master Mage!"

He looks at me with those icy eyes of his

"my fault?" the intensity of his gaze makes me shiver, I wish I could decipher it. Everything would be easier then.

"yes, you distracted me!" I exclaim, but I can feel my voice trembling, I'm not so sure of what I'm saying

"Umi, let me tell you something: you are a Magic Knight, you must stay focused on your enemy, you can't get so easily distracted from the people around you. You've got a great responsibility on your shoulders, so don't blame on me the fact that you are just a girl easily distracting and in a daze. Try to be more responsible the next time"

I can't believe it! Even now you keep criticizing me?! I begged you to help me, to stay with me earlier. It was just a whisper, I admit it, but haven't you catch the pleading tone of my voice? How can you keep hurting me like that?! Can't you see that I'm not suffering for Lantis's fence but for your coldness?! Oh Clef, what have I to do to make you open your eyes?!

I don't know what happen to me, I don't even realize what I am doing.

I feel my hand hitting his cheek.

I don't know what came to my mind! Well, though I'm not totally conscious of what I just did, I can't deny I'm quite satisfied. Yes Clef, you deserve it!

He slowly takes his hand to the place where I hit him.

He's surprised.

Well, I can't blame him, I'm surprised myself.

Does it hurt, Clef? Well, try to multiply it for thousands of times, maybe you'll have a clue of how my heart is feeling now.

"You are an idiot, Clef!" I shout, he just stares at me, still surprised.

To hell my pride, to hell my composure, I just want you to know how I feel, Clef!

"didn't you heard me, earlier?! I woke up in my bed seeing Fuu's eyes, while the only person I wanted to see beside me was you!" I shout it with all my voice, I think I could cry.

Oh, but not in front of you, my dear Master Mage, I have to keep that small crumb of dignity.

Before he can say something I'm running away, slamming the door behind me.

I cry while I run to my bedroom, once there I just collapse on my huge poster bed, my face pressed against the pillow.

Are you happy now, Clef? Are you satisfied? Look at what you made of me! The proud Umi Ryuuzaki is nothing but a damn crybaby!

"Umi…" oh, now you come to me! After that I humbled myself in that way! I wish I could hate you, Clef!

"Go away!"

no, please, don't go. Don't leave me again. I need you. My pride says me to act like this but my heart aches for you. Please, understand it.

"Umi, please open this door"

Why should I? to show you how am I suffering? Aren't you happy of what you have already done?

"I won't see you, I won't hear your voice! I just want for you to vanish, get out of my sight!"

Please Clef, say that you want to talk to me. It's obvious I still want you by my side, I'd do everything to be with you. Please, do something, show me that you do care of me. Please.

I wait an answer, a noise, a sigh. But nothing. There's just me and a heavy, terrible silence.

Oh Clef, why?! You are the Master Mage, you know everything, you can do everything and yet…yet you can't understand me. Why? Where did I went wrong? Ascot would have understood it. He'd never left. Maybe I should try to forget you. Oh what am I saying? I could never do it, I…

A hand.

A hand gently stroked my hair.

Oh Clef, is it you? Please, tell me that's you, that it's not just my imagination…

I turn to meet the most blue and intense eyes I've ever seen.

Oh Clef, it's you! So you care, I am something to you in the end!

I wish I could launch myself in your arms, I could tell you I love you and I always will.

But I can't.

I've that crumb of pride that still stops me.

"Go away" I follow its advice and slap his hand away.

Clef, if you go away now it's over. My heart will never heal, I know it. It's up to you.

He moves to cup my cheek.

Oh Clef! See? You can understand me, so why didn't you do it earlier? You were killing me…you still are.

I stop his hand, I know, he's trying to show me he cares of me, but I want more.

"don't touch me!"

No. I'm lying Clef. Do it. Please.

I gasp, before I can even realize it, I'm in his arms.

Oh, it's so right, so perfect. Why did you wait so much to do this?! You 745 years old idiot!

I'd like I could stay here in your arms forever, but my pride forces me away. You have to do more, Clef. After all the pain you made me go through, now I want more.

What the hell am I doing?! It's like someone else is moving my hand towards his face again.

This time he grabs my wrist. He fix his piercing eyes on mine.

"Umi, forgive me. I'm an idiot I…"

Oh Clef, I know you are! Do it! Please! The moment is perfect. There's just us: you and me. I'm begging you. Please, can't you see it?! If you don't do it I swear that I'll…

It's just a moment. His lips softly brush against mines.

It was brief, but it was enough to make my head swim, to make chills run along my spin, to make tears come to my eyes.

Oh Clef! How long I did wait for you to do it!

No! what are you doing?! You can't pull away like that! No!

He stares at me for a pair of seconds, he doesn't know what to do.

Well, I guess that my tears confused him, he doesn't know what they mean.

Oh Clef, they mean that I'm happy. That finally you opened up your eyes and saw through my façade!

I love you so much Clef!

I launched myself into his arms, sobbing in his cloak while he caresses my hair.

"was it hard to do, Clef?"

"yes" only hearing his answer I realize that I spoke aloud my thought. Oh well, never mind, at least now I can tell him how miserable I felt, how badly he hurt me.

"why Clef?! Couldn't you see it? I was dying for you, I needed you! But you were always so distant, never once I heard a kind word from you, never a smile, never a nice act…it was killing me…it hurt more than Lantis's sword…"

"I…I thought I bothered you. That you couldn't stand me. Umi, you've never acted like you do with the others towards me, how the hell could I think that you loved me? You can't even imagine how terribly I felt for not being there for you, I thought you won't me. That I was just the annoying Guru of Cephiro I…"

What?! Oh Clef, I swear that I'd kill you right now. But I can't, I'd regret it, because I can't be without you. Even if you are the greatest wimp I've ever knew!

"Clef, you are an idiot!"

"yes, so get out of my head"

Huh? What the hell is he saying? Is he mad of what?!

"Clef?" I see him blushing. Well, at least he has the decency to look embarrassed. I wonder what the hell is he thinking about in a moment like this.

"never mind, Umi…"

I should be angry with him, but I told him "never mind" so many times that I can't get angry. Oh well, in the end it doesn't matter that much, I only care we're together now. That he understood me. So I just smile

"Umi, I've to tell you something…"

Of course you have. If you think that a quick kiss like that is enough you are totally wrong, Mr. Master Mage, I want to hear it clearly. No, I'm not egocentric or demanding. I just want to hear it. I need it.

"what?"

"I love you"

Thank you, God!

Oh Clef, you damn old man! Why did you wait so much to tell it?!

I smile openly, I notice him staring at my lips.

Do it! Do it again! And please, make it last longer or I swear I'll kill you!

As if he reads my thoughts he leans in kissing me again.

Oh Clef, couldn't you read me earlier?! Why we had to go through all this mess?!

You know, for being a 745 years old man who never kissed anyone, you do it wonderfully.

This kiss isn't soft and brief like the previous one, this is passionate, fervent.

Oh, I've always dreamt of this kiss! Every night and day I fantasized of it, and finally here it is.

And it's better than what I expected!

To the hell my proud! I pass my arms around his neck and deepen the kiss.

Oh, it felt so right, so perfect! I love you Clef! I want to shout it!

I pull away from the kiss, he looks at me quite confused.

I cup his cheek with my hand, there's still the light mark of my slap.

No, I don't regret hitting you. You deserved it!

A giggle escapes me, his eyes fills with curiosity.

"you know, I've always wished to hear those words from you…and I'll tell you more: I love you too…"

He deserves to hear it just like he deserved to be slapped early. I want for him to know what I feel.

He folds me in his arms again, playing with my hairs.

Oh, I always imagined him to do this!

I rest my head against his chest, his speeded heart beats echoing in my ears.

I allow a content smile to form on my lips.

Isn't it perfect Clef? You holding me and me sighing contently in your arms.

Just the two of us, uncaring of the rest of the world.

Why it took you so long to realize that we belong together? That I'm yours and you're mine?

It took just a soft kiss to erase all the pain I've been through.

Oh Clef, I love you. With my whole heart. And now you know it. And I know you love me as well.

I wish we could stay like this forever, Clef, now I know what happiness is.

Please, promise me we'll be together forever.

"I promise" I giggle, I spoke out my thoughts again.

Oh well, I don't care.

I don't care of anything at the moment, because we are together.

Yes Clef. We are together now, isn't it wonderful?

Just you and me. Us. Forever.


End file.
